Going Off The Grid: Essential Camping and Survival Gear

By on April 19, 2019

Wish you could go back to a simpler time, when man didn’t need to concern himself with things like taxes or mortgages… Back in the good old days, all a man had to worry about was filling his belly for the night (and disease, famine, the weather, millions of naturally occurring poisons, other humans, the wrath of the Sun God, bears). And there’s no better way to experience that kind of simplicity than camping – and isn’t that what camping is all about? The great outdoors. The fresh air. The peace and tranquility. The miles of forest separating you from the people with a warrant.

So You’re Going Off The Grid… well, congratulations. First things first, you’ll need some Camping and Survival Gear. Because man is cruel, but Mother Nature is a goddamn sadist.

LifeStraw Personal Water Filter

Survival Gear: LifeStraw Personal Water Filter

Mmm, swamp water! Why is everything delicious always bad for you? Just like in Tijuana, drinking the water may be dangerous. But if you have the LifeStraw Personal Water Filter, the world is your malted milkshake just one straw away from being in your stomach.  This thing is better than chlorine for disinfecting water, and a lot more tasty.

Check Amazon for the LifeStraw Personal Water Filter

Swedish FireSteel Strike Fire Starter

Survival Gear: Swedish FireSteel Strike Fire Starter

Yeah, after seeing Castaway, we’re not thrilled about starting our own fires.  But when the nearest convenience store is many moons away, getting a lighter might now be an option. While the Swiss have their army knives, the Swedes have their Swedish FireSteel Strike Fire Starter – light your tinder in a few strikes. No frustration, no blood, no Wilson.

Check Amazon for the Swedish FireSteel Strike Fire Starter

4-in-1 Woodsman

Survival Gear: 4-in-1 Woodsman

Sorry, we take back what we said before… the truth is, this is what camping is about: hacking, slashing, cutting, and pounding! In fact, this is what life is about, and we’re tempted to buy the 4-in-1 Woodsman as a toy instead of a tool.

Buy the 4-in-1 Woodsman Here

Klymit Inertia Camping Mattress

Klymit Inertia Camping Mattress

All that running from the law must have done a number on your back, but sleeping bags are a far cry from your posturepedic support mattress. If you’re looking to soften your roughing it experience, the Klymit Inertia Camping Mattress features a body mapping capability that molds to your body.

Check Amazon for the Klymit Inertia Camping Mattress

ZODI Hot Camp Shower

Survival Gear: ZODI Hot Camp Shower

I know what you’re thinking… “But the best part of camping is not showering!” Before you scoff, I want you to consider something:  Week 10, when you’re more pit stain than person. You’ll be glad you packed the ZODI Hot Camp Shower then.

Check Amazon for the ZODI Hot Camp Shower

Tree Tent

Survival Gear: Tree Tent

You’ve heard the park rangers say to tie up your food in a tree so bears can get to it, right? Well, to a bear, you are also food. Ipso facto, get your ass up in a tree before a bear eats you! The Tree Tent is more than just a tent, or a tree – it’s a home! The 3-meter sphere features a floor plan with a sleeping area, a cooking area, a dining area, and a “mess” area (think about it). We’re going to wait for the version with a foyer and wine cellar.

Buy the Tree Tent Here

About Matt Ellis

Freelance web writer. I like science, comics, and long walks on the beach. I write and draw this webcomic in crayon.

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