10 Lawn and Garden Tools for Feeling Superior to Nature

By on July 19, 2016

Despite the bugs, the manual labor, and the soul-withering heat, for some strange and unknown reason, we love gardening. There’s just something about backseat driving with Mother Nature, telling her what plants should go where because, after all, it’s your land now.

But, as with all struggles of mankind versus nature, the only real advantage we have are tools. Whether a shovel fashioned out of rocks and sticks, or an app that hires a professional gardener, tools can make the difference between garden and a bunch of plants.

This summer, enjoy these 10 lawn and garden tools to turn your yardwork into yardplay

1. Black & Decker Alligator Lopper

Black n Decker Alligator Lopper

Just look at it! Good thing you’re a gardener so you have an excuse to buy such a cool-looking machine!

The Black & Decker Alligator Lopper ($67.00) takes all the fun of a chainsaw, shrinks it, and gives it clamping jaws. Logs and branches up to 4 in. tremble in fear at the sight of its 4.5 amp motor. Perfect for tree pruning, large plant sheering, and zombie attacks.

Buy the Black & Decker Alligator Lopper Now

2. Togetherfarm Blocks

Togetherfarm Blocks

Maybe they’re not Legos, exactly, but the Togetherfarm Blocks ($74.99) make up for it by being specifically attuned to gardening. Made from recycled, food-grade plastic, these Lego style blocks allow creative gardeners and their children to build plant containers however their imaginations want. You can use them for raised flower beds or protection against weeds, and there’s even built-in allotments for trells.

Buy the Togetherfarm Blocks Now

3. GreenWorks Cordless Pole Saw

GreenWorks Cordless Pole Saw

Think you can trim those high-up tree branches by tying your chainsaw to a long pole? I’d advise against it — I lost an uncle that way. Instead, take advantage of the GreenWorks Cordless Pole Saw ($148.99). It operates on a battery and charger so you don’t have to worry about wires or extension cords, and the aluminum shaft extends up to 8 feet. It’s also equally effective for shorter trees within 8 feet of your living room window.

Buy the GreenWorks Cordless Pole Saw Now

4. Bird Photo Booth 2.0

Bird Photo Booth 2.0

You’re not the only one who enjoys your garden, you know. Bird-watchers don’t have to try nearly so hard with the Bird Photo Booth 2.0 ($59.95). This bird-feeder, up-close camera combination satisfies both your curiosity and the bird’s megalomaniacal vanity.

This Kickstarter favorite can work one of two ways: You can let the motion-sensor camera do all the work, or place your iPhone or Android smartphone in the weatherproof case and control the shots via an included Bluetooth remote. No more of those second-rate, amateur photoshoots for your starlet starlings.

Buy the Bird Photo Booth 2.0 Now

5. GrowOya Irrigation Pot

GrowOya Irrigation Pot

You have to water the garden how often!? Every day!? Jeez, if I knew gardening was so much work, I would have just gone to the supermarket for tomatoes.

If you’re one of those gardeners that hates going outside, interacting with your plants, or gardening in general, the GrowOya Irrigation Pot ($24-30) is just what you need. Just bury this porous clay pot up to the neck in your garden and fill it with water. The natural time-release will keep your plants hydrated on a schedule, cutting your your watering time. Make sure you get the right size for your garden.

Buy the GrowOya Irrigation Pot Now

6. Bigfoot Boot/Shoe-in Slipper

Bigfoot Boot Shoe-in Slipper

Just because you’re gardening all day doesn’t mean you’re outside all day. Sooner or later, there will be something you need indoors, even if just the bathroom. That’s when the Bigfoot Boot/Shoe-in Slipper ($34.50 – SALE) is perfect. These shoes for your shoes protect your floors from whatever dirt and mud you’ve collected when gardening.

Buy the Bigfoot Boot/Shoe-in Slipper Now

7. ScareCrow Motion Activated Animal Repellent

ScareCrow Motion Activated Animal Repellent

We’re on the verge of inventing microscopic robots that carry medicine inside our bloodstreams — are you still using hay-filled scarecrows to chase away pests? The ScareCrow Motion Activated Animal Repellent ($54.00) uses motion-activated technology to repeal animals like deer, rabbits, raccoons, and more up to 1,200 feet away. Ecological and cruelty-free, the device uses a simple spurt of water to enforce your garden’s boundaries.

Buy the ScareCrow Motion Activated Animal Repellent Now

8. Parrot Flower Power

Parrot Flower Power

Gardening? There’s an app for that. If your favorite part of gardening is sitting on your couch and playing on your phone, the Parrot Flower Power ($59.99) is just what you need.

You just have to leave the couch for a few seconds to plant the sensor in the desired area, and then check your phone to see the status of your plants. The app will tell you if your plants have enough sunlight and water, plus whether the temperature and soil nutrients are adequate. How did farmers grow anything before smartphones?

Buy the Parrot Flower Power Now

9. Ohuhu Garden Kneeler and Tool Pouch

Ohuhu Garden Kneeler and Tool Pouch

Activities that involve getting on your knees aren’t usually recreational, but hey, neither are ones that involve digging holes, so gardening is just special. Still, if you want to save some wear-and-tear and your body’s most valuable joints, the Ohuhu Garden Kneeler and Tool Pouch ($26.99) can help.

Providing cushiony support why your serve your almighty plant overlords, this kneeler also comes with a hand tool pouch to keep everything you need nicely organized in front of you. And what if you’re dealing with slightly higher plants? Simply turn it upside-down and it becomes a chair.

Buy the Ohuhu Garden Kneeler and Tool Pouch Now

10. Misty Mate Keepin’ Cool 6 Portable Misting System

Misty Mate Keepin' Cool 6 Portable Misting System

You’ve been out working on your lawn and garden all day, when suddenly you realize, “OMG, it’s freakin’ hot outside!” You need to take a break in the shade and cool off, and that’s where the Misty Mate Keepin’ Cool 6 Portable Misting System comes in handy.

Using a pre-assembled system of 6 misters, this life-saver creates a blanket of mist that extends 10 feet. Mist is not playing around — this device has been proven to reduce the ambient temperature by up to 30 degrees. Attach it to your patio fascia and enjoy the view of your garden in the way nature intended: surrounded by an artificial cloud of water.

Buy the Misty Mate Keepin’ Cool 6 Portable Misting System Now

About Matt Ellis

Freelance web writer. I like science, comics, and long walks on the beach. I write and draw this webcomic in crayon.

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