House of Cards Season 3 is Here, Are You Ready?

Internet video streaming has yet to accomplish its Super Bowl, but if anything hints at a potential future in the “event” release online, a new season of House of Cards is it.

Sometime, in the dead of this Feb. 27 night, Frank and Claire Underwood will sneak silently into your living room and await you like a villain in a very, very large chair. You will turn on whatever Netflix box you might have, scroll clumsily through the menus and, finally, after months upon months of waiting, take glee in the sardonic slaughtering of American politics.

And just in time, too, with all those presidential elect rumors hitting the real-world news day-in and day-out. If our heads can only bow in shame at the often petty competition of a presidential election, then allow us sweet release upon Frank Underwood’s evisceration of our democratic ideals. It makes sense, in a terrible sort of way. Francis would have it no other way.

In preparation for this fine night in American culture, let us pay our respects to what came before: England. If you didn’t already know, rebellious child that you are, Netflix’s House of Cards is based on the BBC’s own original series of the same name, which itself was adapted from a British novel. The original series aired in 1990 to critical acclaim, following the devious political rise of Francis Urquhart after the resignation of Margaret Thatcher, though the inclusion of that particular plot point is both the beginning and end of the story’s real-world context.

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The British like to create TV shows that aren’t called shows. House of Cards is technically a triumvirate of mini-series, the first titled House of Cards and the latter two called To Play the King and The Final Cut, respectively. Also, this being very British, there’s a Macbeth/Richard III lean to the whole thing, reminding the world once again that, yes, they had Shakespeare. Well we have Kanye West, which definitely means something to Kanye West.

If you, like America’s greatest hero, insist on doing it the American way, you can just watch the first two seasons of the U.S. House of Cards through Netflix. That would be the easy, un-American way to do American things though. If you truly want to show your patriotism, engage in some good old capitalism and purchase either of the first two seasons on blu-ray. Ask yourself, what would Kanye do?

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But, chances are, if you made it to this article then you want none of that disgusting blu-ray technology, because you already watched everything in the world through Netflix. Well, have you tried Youtube? There’s more than enough random House of Cards crap on there. For instance, there’s the Sesame Street parody, which might rate as the only worthwhile kid-friendly parody of the show. You’ll even learn something along the way, granted you’ve never learned anything before.

If you want to knock the whole parody thing out in one sitting, Jimmy Fallon’s take is a fairly robust coverage of all the potential jokes, meandering from the “dude, who are  you talking to?’ bit to some more Tonight Show-friendly twists.

Finally, perhaps the greatest of them all, is this parody/warning video from a guy named Jon Rudnitsky. It might do you well to watch it before jumping back in, the very security of your life and job are at risk. Be warned, it’s a bit NSFW on the language and subtly racist lines. Most importantly, it doesn’t name itself in the House of Blank (name reserved for the impending House of Cards Parody parody) template. Quite impressive, indeed.

Francis Underwood impersonations are all fun and good. Reliving the words of Underwood himself is much, much better. Here’s a lengthy Buzzfeed list of Underwood quotes put up against inspirational images. Because irony. You’ll smile just remembering the moments.

And for all our fallen heroes, two still stand above the rest. Feel free to use this as your desktop background to further increase the agony of the wait.

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