Behold the World’s Most Tasteful Gift: Bacon

By on June 6, 2013

Behold the World's Most Tasteful Gift: Bacon

When it comes to bacon, I cannot lie, it’s not my favorite.  And yet, with Oscar Mayer’s latest effort, I may just to have reconsider.  The company made three exclusive bacon packages — The Commander, The Matador, and The Woodsman — as giftably presentable as any aged bottle of Scotch, imported cigar, or culinary masterpiece.  Each boutique-like package boasts the four C’s, aka “the four facets of quality that transform an ordinary slice of pork belly into The Oscar Mayer Original Strip.”

Fine CUT, Dazzling COLOR, Timeless CONSISTENCY and Enduring CURE.

The 4 Cs of Oscar Mayer Bacon

Bundled in The Commander is 18-20 Oscar Mayer Original Bacon Strips, a handsome stainless steel money-clip adorned with bacon, and a personal expression of your passion on elegant card stock.The Commander

The Matador switches the money clip for a set of dashing cufflinks crafted to show the fine lines of bacon.

The MatadorThe Woodsman chooses a rugged multi-tool etched with the subtle bacon lines in order to balance elegance with ruggedness.The Woodsman

With these gifts, which are frequently sold out but restocked daily at Oscar Mayer, Oscar Mayer dares you to “say it with bacon” and “fall in love with the original strip.”

Seriously, never before have I had to balance a sudden salivating hunger while acknowledging the perfect degree of ingenious dry wit present in the following marketable declaration from Oscar Mayer: “When words aren’t enough… Say it with bacon.” If Stephenie Meyer could shape her prose half as well as these tender syllables, then we would all be in trouble.


About Brian Hoss

As a video game designer, I have worked for years with companies like Activision, Electronic Arts and Zenimax. Naturally, my fascination with technology, the internet, and the age-old social sharing of storytelling has prompted me to indulge writing for The CheckOut. Google BMH

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