The Martian: Where Else Should We Strand Matt Damon?

Based on the bestselling novel of the same name, The Martian is an upcoming film where Matt Damon gets stranded on a planet that isn’t earth. This movie is not a sequel, or prequel, to Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar, a film where Matt Damon gets stranded on a planet that isn’t earth.

Of all the trends that Hollywood could muster, this might just be the most promising as a potential incubator for future world-class films, especially the kind where Matt Damon gets stranded somewhere that isn’t the planet earth. As such, I’m taking it upon myself to brainstorm places we can put Matt Damon.

In Limbo: 2015: A Damon Odyssey

The ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey, it turns out, was always incomplete. Behind the monolith was always the Damon, awaiting the opportune moment to lay enlightenment on us all.

In a Computer: The Damons in the Machine

Inside every computer is an entire world, an entire universe, even. Inside every gun inside every computer is a cartridge of Damons. May they fly true.

In Ben Affleck’s Shadow: Batman and Not Robin (Just Damon)

You might see this as a jab at Matt Damon. But how could Matt Damon be stranded beneath a Ben Affleck if the Ben Affleck is only the size of one little man? But Ben Affleck doesn’t see it that way. His shadow encompasses the whole universe.

Alright, it’s also a jab at Damon. But then what was this entire article for?

I’m really asking you. I don’t know.

The Sun: Were There a Damon Too Bright

We all have existential moments looking at the sun. Why is it there? What magnificent creature awaits us within? ‘Twas Damon, he of light and majesty, who compelled such thoughts.