Unless you have been living on a remote desert island talking to a volleyball named Wilson for the last couple years, you may have heard a mention or two in the news about that guy that fires people on The Apprentice and his bid to become the Republican nominee for President of the United States.

Love him or hate him, one thing that he has certainly inspired people to do is make money off his image. Considering that, we’ve combed through all the Trump and John Oliver-inspired Drumpf products to bring you the craziest items that you can purchase to show your support or deep-seated hatred for the Donald. Check out our picks below:

1. Trump in a Jar

Don’t you hate it when the kids break into the pantry to sneak some cookies before dinner? Scare them off with Trump in a Jar! Advertised on Etsy as “Donald Trump’s Pickled Head,” you can display this terrifying jar to frighten away small children and most household pets.

On a more supportive note, you can purchase about ten of these, position them along the front of your home, toss a candle in there and display your Trump loyalty at night for all the neighbors to see. Your home will glow in bright orange as the candles light up his cheeks.

See Trump in a Jar on Etsy

2. Trump Hair Slippers

If only we could encase our feet in Donald Trump’s golden locks of hair… Guess what, you are in luck! Gucci has unintentionally given you that opportunity for a meager price of $1,800. The ‘Princetown’ Slip-On Loafer has finally given women the ability to make their feet look like Donald Trump’s head; truly every women’s dream.

Of course, if the idea of wearing Donald Trump’s hair on your feet makes you want to start sawing at the ankles, you can always burn the slippers in a very expensive protest while screaming “I Feel the BERN!” Or simply make your own to burn. A crafty DIY’er should be able to make these easily with the hair clippings thrown in the trash at your nearest Great Clips / Fantastic Sams / etc.

See Trump Hair Slippers at Nordstrom

3. Dogald Trump Tote Bag

Are you as fed up with the whole feline situation in this country as Dogald Trump is? Show your support for the issue with the Dogald Trump Tote Bag and proudly display that you believe cats have no place in the United States of America.

However, if you are one of those despicable feline sympathizers, feel free to peruse the Donald Trump Cat pictures at Sad and Useless.

See Dogald Trump Tote Bag at Pet Studio Art

4. The Trump Coloring Book

Foretelling the most possible future of a Trump presidency, this history book offers up scenarios such as the Donald playing a game of Battleship with Kim Jong-un and the eventual placement of Trump’s giant head on Mount Rushmore. Snag this coloring book and color in between the lines of historical events before they happen.

Of course, if you aren’t interested in learning about our definite future, then feel free to color outside the lines. And use a sparkly glitter pen when coloring in his hair. That’ll show him!

See Donald Trump Coloring Book on Amazon

5. Donald Trump Toilet Paper

Tired of wiping with really boring toilet papers like Charmin or Angel Soft? Try cleaning your booty with Trump toilet paper, an experience that’s probably pretty similar if he’s in your home state right now trying to get your vote. Let the Donald kiss the dirtiness away and then you can flush him down the toilet after you are done.

If this is offensive to Trump supporters, then start thinking outside the bathroom, dammit! Purchase 20 of these rolls and go TP any neighbors that are big Bernie Sanders supporters. Then they can ‘Feel the Berning Anger’ as they try to get Donald Trump out of their trees.

See Donald Trump Toilet Paper on Amazon

6. Trump Success Eau de Toilette Spray

Haven’t you ever wanted to smell like success? Now you can with Trump’s cologne! Described by one Amazon reviewer as “a very antiseptic smell–almost like Bactine,” you can exude the smell of money and power with a couple sprays. It’s likely some sort of Trump sweat gathered after he gets worked up during a lengthy speech about how much he dislikes Ted Cruz.

If you aren’t interested in financially supporting Trump’s venture into the smelling business, another Amazon reviewer described it as “hot garbage.” All you need to do is open up your trash can during the next rainfall and you can bottle your own scent free of charge.

See Donald Trump Cologne on Amazon

7. Authentic Donald Trump Mask

Can’t wait until Halloween to strap on your Donald Trump mask? Show your support right now, strap on this authentic mask and head to the next Trump rally! You are sure to stand out among the legions of pretenders. You will be the biggest fan of them all.

Settle down, Trump supporters; I’m just kidding around. If you want a real Trump mask to wear, check out this mask on Amazon.

See Donald Trump Mask on Amazon

7 Crazy Donald Trump Products to show your Love or Hate

With all the deals flowing in this time of year, we rarely get a chance to take a break from the madness. However, this is definitely worth a short respite and lots of laughs. Designed by Imgur user obviousplant, this set of fake Black Friday ads is a brilliant idea.

Some of our favorite deals include hot gifts for centaurs, the Star Wars hot dog blaster, 87 copies of Air Bud, Luke Skymopper, gifts they’ll only use once and, of course, the free falcon. These ads were posted outside a real Target, location unknown. We think the national retailer should roll out the ads everywhere. Check out the entire collection below:

(Click a photo to enlarge)

Designer creates hilarious fake Black Friday ads for Target

You can call them misquotes or troll quotes or perhaps the greatest images ever made. There’s something distinctly wonderful about purposely misquoting a character in a movie and watching all your nerdy friends Hulk out in sheer rage of your “mistake.”

With that in mind, we’ve collected (or created) our 25 favorite quotes. You are more than welcome to post them on your favorite social networks; the BookFace, the Tweeter, the Insta-grim. See, we are totally hip with all the cool kids and their Snipchets!

(Click any image for the full resolution)

Spider-Man’s secret identity? Harry Skywalker

Wise words and great fonts

Hodor

Our favorite quote from Spaceballs

Dobby’s back in Lord of the Gungans

Yoda ain’t got nothing on DumbleGandore

Ethan Hunt: Time Traveler

Alfred’s Superpower is Sage Advice

Transformers: Wizards vs. Space Slugs

The Avengers: Age of Energon

Slitherin’s Wrath of Pikachu

Die Harder: Punishment in Tombstone

Judge Termicop

The Three Lord Amigos

The Hungry Jedi Wizards: Lost in Time

Simpson’s Park

We don’t even know where to begin…

The Matrix ReStarTrekked

Lord Potter of Star Wars

Raiders of the Uncharted National Treasure

Star Trek: Return of the Black Pearl

Tommy Boy: Part 2

Star Wars: Dumbledore vs. Gandalf

Mario’s Legend of Halo

The Finale. There’s nothing left to say.

25 Hilarious Images That Will Definitely Trigger Nerd Rage

Everyone who’s a fan of the classic He-Man cartoons knows that Skeletor is the picture of mental health.  (How else could someone be so obsessed with ruling Eternia if they didn’t find peace within themselves?)  But achieving psychological stability is an uphill battle, and even bony blue wizards slip up sometimes.  So what does Skeletor do when he just doesn’t see the point in getting out of bed after yet another humiliating defeat?  Positive Daily Affirmations.

The blog Heal Yourself, Skeletor chronicles Skeletor’s journey into accepting that he’s not just superhuman… but also human.  Here are some of our favorite Skeletor Affirmations:

10 Healing Affirmations from He-Man’s Greatest Adversary

Created by the fine folks over at College Humor, this collection of movie posters rips on all of the movies nominated for Best Picture at the 2014 Oscar awards show. Modifying the poster with a cheeky title and snarky descriptions, films portrayed within the collection include American Hustle, Captain Philips, Dallas Buyers Club, Gravity, Her, Nebraska, Philomena, 12 Years a Slave and The Wolf of Wall Street.

Check out the full collection of posters below. And if you are in the mood to catch a flick this weekend, be sure to check out Ben’s Fandago deals to save some money at the theater. Because, you know, a small popcorn and a soda is like $27 these days.

And the Oscar Goes to…These Parody Movie Posters