For Conan O’Brien and Team COCO, playing Grand Theft Auto V seemed like a good idea.  And in fact, it started off well.  Through the sheer force of enthusiasm, Conan manages to steal a car in-game.  Sadly, what happens next can only be described as pushing an extremely difficult bolder up a hill, and that hill comes in the form of a car chase.  After failing to carefully capture a boat with a car, Conan then ponders whether or not characters like Franklin and Wade are really worth all of the bother. “Franklin died! You know what, I’ve known Franklin all of eight minutes… boo hoo, Franklin died.”  “Who needs Wade? Has he contributed anything so far?”

But as often happens, all of the ambition for conquering the world of Grand Theft Auto, and for building meaningful relationships with the characters that inhabit that world, is side tracked by one seemingly harmless trip to the one of the game’s strip clubs.

Now don’t misunderstand, while Conan is happy enough to hang around the virtual strip club and spend virtual money, his attempt to avoid a bouncer ends out on the sidewalk.  This rejection by force quickly incenses Conan, and all of the rage built up when failing to properly drive various vehicles throughout the game becomes focused on returning to the strip club.  The strip club denizens see Conan coming a mile away, and once again it all ends out on the sidewalk.

What comes next? Revenge!  How the heck does one exactly exact revenge on a video game strip club is a question that most people might not be ready to answer, but Conan knows how to play to win.  Paper beats rock, and rock beats scissor, but only an army attack chopper beats strip club.

But then again, power lines beat an army attack chopper…

Conan O’Brien Takes His Revenge on <i>Grand Theft Auto V</i>

Conan O’Brien is turning back the clock, all the way back to 1982’s E.T. the Extra- Terrestrial the Video Game.  But that’s not all.  Conan and Team Coco’s Clueless Gamer have already cut their teeth on today’s big-time games like Resident Evil 6 and HALO 4, but what happens when things get vintage?  Vintage as in the classic burger grill-looking Atari 2600.

Armed only with controllers that look like “the defibrillators that they used on Elvis,” Conan first gets warmed up for his funtastic E.T. foray with a smattering of Atari classics. Journeying through early ’80s hits like Combat, Golf, and River Raid merely seems to dash any of Conan’s hope as the fan-selected E.T. approaches.  Even Pitfall denies Conan, before his game-riffic breakthrough with Space Invaders.

After playing the Atari 2600, Conan drew a conclusion:”I can go look at an old-butter churner or turn-of-the-century car and appreciate the beauty of it… this is awful.  This is just America on its knees.”

Finally, Conan took on the one game that still manages to captivate audiences in an all-time disappointing and landfill-filling manner, E.T.  The experience of E.T. and its ever-present lack of redeeming worth so jaded Conan, that upon finding a flower in-game, he pretty much needed to have his mind rebooted in order to continue.  One can only guess that having looked back on the vintage console this one time was enough… until next time.

Conan O’Brien Gets Clueless with the Atari 2600 and E.T.