If I write about products on a regular basis, am I just an advertisement? But if I write about an advertisement, am I just a product?

Questions of this sort have no place in this Madden NFL 16 advertisement, a roughly five-minute long trailer for a fake movie starring Dave Franco and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. You might be reminded of last year’s advertisement with Franco and Kevin Hart, especially when the latter was having his “moment.” This is that multiplied by about three thousand, give or take a T-Rex.

EA has cultivated a theme potentially impossible to take too far, assuming the budget stays lofty and the intellectual ambitions do the opposite. As a result, my brain is perhaps more ready for Madden NFL 17 than any previous release in the football sim’s history, so that’s a win for the publisher and a definite loss for humanity.

But when Dave Franco’s most emotive performance comes at the behest of a football video game, and propels him further into the spotlight than his Oscar-nominated brother (if even for a day), it’s safe to say humanity was doomed from the start. Let’s just play some Madden NFL 16 then, while we wait.

I am both product and advertisement, in case you were wondering.

For something that’s less shameful, read up on why Rocket League is actually a better sports game than Madden. It’s there that I make the case I’m a legitimate writer with a definite future in anything having to do with words and keyboards.

Madden NFL 16 releases on August 25, right around the time it does every year, with all the incremental improvements and subtle visual changes the core audience apparently asks for.

As to whether Robert Griffin III’s in-game character walks with a limp or not, well, you’ll just have to see for yourself. Hail to the ____s. Hail victory.

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