On September 4th, publisher Dark Horse Comics will be launching a new 8-issue mini-series called The Star Wars. Just as The Facebook preceded Facebook, The Star Wars predates a little film from the ’70s known as… Star Wars.

The Star Wars is based on a 1974 rough draft screenplay by George Lucas before he dropped the The. But that’s not all that’s different. In The Star Wars, Luke Skywalker is an old bearded Jedi general, lightsabers are “lazer swords,” Han Solo is a 6-foot tall alien lizard, Darth Vader is just another Imperial general and Anakin Skywalker is named “Annakin Starkiller.”

[pullquote]Eight issues is barely enough to contain this entire epic. The plot to this story is wildly different from Star Wars: A New Hope. It really has no connection in terms of the structure. Imagine if the action from all six movies happened to Luke, Obi-Wan, and Leia in Episode IV. That starts to give you an idea of how this story is so action packed and intricate.  -Mike Mayhew[/pullquote]

The mini-series is written and adapted by J.W. Rinzler, author of the excellent Making of Star Wars book series, and illustrated by Mike Mayhew, who has worked on various comic properties from Vampirella to The Avengers. In the grand tradition of superhero comics, The Star Wars plays like a parallel universe of the Star Wars world that audiences are intimately familiar, mixed with elements taken from samurai movies, fantasy and westerns. It’s still a world populated by Jedi Knights and Sith Knights, Padawans and droids.

George Lucas apparently gave his blessing to this unique comic book project, which may or may not be a good thing… depending on your point of view. The series will run from September through April 2014, and it’s certain to whet the appetites of fans looking forward to the next installment of the movie series, scheduled for summer 2015.

You can already pre-order the first two print editions of the series from TFAW.com (owned by Dark Horse Comics). The pre-order links are below, plus a sneak peak at some interior art from issue #1:

Pre-order The Star Wars #1, Nick Runge cover for $3.19 + shipping (9/4/13)

Pre-order The Star Wars #1, TFAW Exclusive Variant Cover Edition for $3.99 + shipping (9/4/13)

Pre-order The Star Wars #2, Nick Runge cover for $3.19 + shipping (10/2/13)

Interior Art from The Star Wars #1

Shut Up and Take My Money: The Star Wars Comic Book Mini-Series

30 years of Ewoks?? That’s not true! That’s impossible!

Yes, Return of the Jedi (Episode VI, yada, yada) celebrates its 30th year anniversary this week. It opened to crazy long lines of excited fans back on May 25th, 1983. Long before the dark times… before The Phantom Menace.

Of course, Jedi is now known as much for its marketing tie-ins as its cinematic value because by 1983, George Lucas had gone whole hog on the concept he innovated in the previous two installments.

While many of the toys and promotional souvenirs are cringe-worthy today, most fans still look back fondly at Kenner’s line of action figures. With its gaggle of space creatures  and righteous teddy bears (Ewoks), Return of the Jedi was a cornucopia of action figure opportunities.

In fact, Kenner’s original 1980s ROTJ action figure output (almost 50) nearly matched the combined total of the figures made for Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back.

Here are some of the best and some of the most ridiculous vintage Return of the Jedi Kenner figures from that period. You can find the full rundown of Star Wars figures at Rebel Scum.

from left: (1) Amanaman, (2) General Madine, (3) Emperor’s Royal Guard

1. Amanaman (1985)

Spotted hanging out by Han Solo in the carbonite block in Jabba’s palace. Like, for two seconds. Really creepy staff. Why was this made for kids?

2. General Madine (1983)

What exactly is General Madine going to do with that “battle staff”? That wimpy white stick is pretty embarrassing.

Wait, who’s General Madine? Well, you know he’s that guy with the beard that no one cares about and is nowhere near as awesome as Admiral Ackbar (see below).

3. Emperor’s Royal Guard (1983)

One of the coolest-looking vintage figures ever made, but it couldn’t turn its head. Or engage in battle, really. This figure also came out a year before The Emperor. That really made sense.

from left: (4) Squid Head, (5) Yak Face, (6) Prune Face

4. Squid Head (1983)

Didn’t this guy appear in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies? Dude knows how to rock a cape.

5. Yak Face (1985)

Another action figure nobody asked for, but Yak Face was super rare when it was released and thus became a highly coveted collectible. A vintage 1985 Yak Face can be found on eBay… for a price.

6. Prune Face (1984)

With a face only a mother could love (if that), Prune Face may have been the most pointless of all the action figures, and that’s saying a lot. He’s a good guy who appears for a nanosecond at the Rebel briefing and looks like a disturbing cross of The Emperor and E.T.

from left: (7) Klaatu, (8) Barada, (9) Nikto, (10) Klaatu (in Skiff Guard Outfit)

7. Klaatu (1983), 8. Barada (1985), 9. Nikto (1983) & 10. Klaatu (in Skiff Guard Outfit) (1984)

This crazy reference to 1950s sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still resulted in three of Jabba’s henchmen from the Sarlacc pit. At least they actually had some screen time and did stuff.

Bonus: Kenner made an ADDITIONAL version of Klaatu in his Skiff Guard Outfit for all those Klaatu fans out there. Because, you know, the guy was onscreen for probably two whole minutes.

(11) Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band

11. Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band

It could be worse. Trust me. (If you don’t, see the Special Edition.)

from left: (12) Luke Skywalker (Jedi Knight Outfit), (13) Imperial Dignitary, (14) Admiral Ackbar

12. Luke Skywalker (Jedi Knight Outfit) (1983)

If you got Luke with the green lightsaber instead of the inaccurate blue lightsaber, then you were one happy kid. One of the best vintage Kenner figures ever.

13. Imperial Dignitary (1984)

Could not grip anything, much less a weapon, this action figure was the epitome of pointlessness. Of course, any 6-year-old would LOVE to play with this figure!!

14. Admiral Ackbar (1982, pre-release)

Dude, it’s a trap! Nuff said.

from left: (15) Logray, (16) Han Solo (in Carbonite Chamber), (17) Lumat, (18) Warok

15. Logray (Ewok Medicine Man) (1983)

For an Ewok, he was kinda awesome.  The Ewok medicine man had a removable headdress so he could go incognito, which was powerful stuff.

16. Han Solo (in Carbonite Chamber) (1984)

This was pretty cool-looking but Han didn’t have a weapon and didn’t look like Harrison Ford at all.

17. Lumat (1984)

Seriously, who asked for this guy? In the original Kenner collection, they made a figure of freakin’ Lumat, but not Grand Moff Tarkin.

Nice.

Oh, wait, then there’s…

18. Warok (1985)

See the difference? No?

Return of the Jedi: 30 Years of Plastic Memories